John the Toilet Shot, Laid to Rest

CENTERVILLE, Utah —  John, a porcelain commode gunned down in an accidental shooting at a fast food restaurant’s bathroom, has died. His age was not immediately known.

The toilet was shattered by a bullet Jan. 12 when a man’s gun fell from its holster as he was pulling up his pants, police said. Police do not plan to file criminal charges in connection with the incident.

Christian Martinez, manager of the Carl’s Jr. where John was gunned down, held a memorial service Friday at the restaurant. He gave away bottles of John’s favorite toilet cleaner, Kaboom Bowl Blaster, to the eatery’s first 50 patrons.

A Bountiful flower shop provided a large floral arrangement.

“In all my years, I can say without a doubt that I have never delivered for a toilet,” said deliveryman Doug Graham, “but I thought it was the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. I got a kick out of it.”

Remnants of John hit and cut the gun owner’s arm, but he was not seriously injured.

Police blamed John’s death on the gun and style of holster the man was using.

“He was survived by the men’s urinal and wash sink,” said Martinez. “He left us way too soon.”